


Fading From This World

by AgentCodywolf



Series: Oh Mountain, My Mountain [1]
Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Angsting, I'm just going to rewrite everything, M/M, Promise, angst everywhere, it will be worth it, just go with it, please?, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-08 20:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentCodywolf/pseuds/AgentCodywolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone survived the BOFA. Bilbo destroys the ring. Drogo and Primila live. Frodo never comes to live at Bag End. Bilbo lives 50 years in the Shire all alone in Bag End, missing his love and his family. He's fading now and thinks he doesn't have long. His friends decide to take matters into their own hands. So when Bilbo walks up to Bag End, old and leaning on his cane, to find 13 very sorry dwarves waiting, he doesn't know who is out to kill him now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mad Old Baggins, the Lonely Bachelor of Bag End

**Author's Note:**

> I am not sorry. I am feeling angsty so this happened. Lots of Bilbo sadness. Not sure how this will end, but we'll see how the story wants to go.  
> Inspired by this beautiful video here-->http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=miZKZRBi2ZM#!  
> You can follow me on tumblr here-->http://majesticcarbuscus.tumblr.com/

Mad Old Baggins returned to the Shire 50 years ago on a bright day in the spring, leading a little pony, thin as a bean pole and looking like he was going to collapse from exhaustion. He didn’t yell when he found his house up for sale. He didn’t get angry at Lobelia when the lass had the gall to say that she’d bought his silver fair in square. He just politely asked everyone to leave and if Lobelia would be kind enough to return at least one set for him to use. He looked drained and so sad it had shut even that snippety Lobelia Sackville-Baggins up. And everyone made a point to ignore seeing her heading up to Bag End later that day with not only the box of silverware but a basket of food as well. Whatever those two discussed changed Lobelia for the better. She’d snap at everyone else as usual, but never Bilbo. She was always inviting him over for tea or dragging him along with her and Otho to different parties. Everyone saw the difference in this new Bilbo. Whatever happened on his two-year-journey still haunted him. He was no longer the outgoing, sometimes eccentric bachelor of Bag End. He was now Mad Old Baggins of Bag End, staying to himself and rarely inviting visitors over. He’d send gifts out to family every so often, but the only times he left Bag End were to go on long walks or visit the market. He still took time to tell the children a story every now and then, but it took a 20 years before he told any stories about his journey and never said anything on the trip he took with Gandalf a year after his return. He was gone for three months and when he returned, he looked even worse than when he had last returned and was now needing a cane to get around. It was gone in a few months, but on bad days, it would come out. Some days, Bilbo didn’t even leave Bag End. As he got older, the cane came into use more and more.

After realizing that Bilbo wasn’t going to invite them, the people of Hobbitton and the hobbits over in Brandybuck Hall took it upon themselves to visit Bilbo. As Bilbo got older and movement got harder, more and more of his younger cousins started to visit. Drogo, Primila and little Frodo (after he was born) visited at least twice a week. Tooks and Baggins never abandoned each other, no matter how scandalous the act. Adventuring was a very scandalous act, but no one could really blame Bilbo for going. He was the son of Bungo and Belladonna Baggins, after all. Both were very eccentric hobbits in their own rights. Belinda went traveling often and Bungo had a whole hobbit hole built for his wife. Both were madly in love with each other, so it’s not hard to believe that Belladonna died of a broken heart not long after the Fell Winter. Bilbo had to fend for himself, taking over the running of the Baggin’s family home and becoming a very respectable hobbit. He gave up a lot, his wandering ways, his love of adventure, to be a strong figure for the Baggins clan. He still tried now, struggling with a weight he never talked about.

Whispers went around about a lost love, but the answers were discovered soon after Bilbo’s 90th birthday. That’s when all could see the poor old hobbit start to fade. Like elves, hobbits could fade. It was very rare now a days, but not uncommon. It was believed that Belladonna faded, so it only made sense Bilbo was. Fading from what though was still unknown. Rumors spread that it was from one of the dwarves that Bilbo had traveled with. Others said it was someone he met on the road. They all had heard the tales of the Battle of Five Armies and some even speculated that his love had been killed in battle right before his eyes. If only they knew the truth.

Only weeks before Bilbo’s 101st birthday found the hobbit making his slow way back up the hill to Bag End from a trip to the market. He could just give a list to Samwise, seeing as the lad went to market for Hamfast, but Bilbo didn’t want to give up just yet. As long as he could make it to the market and back on his own, he knew he could still make it in this world. He knew the other hobbits could see him fading, but thankfully had never said anything to his face. Other than Lobelia and Hamfast, that is. He’d denied the truth to them for so long, but just a week ago he’d invited his two closest friends over for tea and explained everything. The entire journey in its entirety. A dwarf king Bilbo couldn’t help falling for, a company that became a new family for him. Bilbo had watched as the dwarf he had loved and thought had loved him back can disappear, snuffed out by the gold sickness. He watched all of them succumb to it in varying amounts. He was losing his family all over again and he couldn’t live with that. He did the only thing he could see bringing them back and in return he had been cast out. He’d held on to the hope that maybe they would come back for him, apologize and beg for forgiveness, but as the years went on it never happened and he lost hope.

He told them about the Ring of Power, about destroying. He told them about the hole that it had left, the emptiness in his soul now that he doubted could ever be healed. He explained how he’d been Fading for years, but it really only became evident on his 90th birthday because he’d received word from Gandalf about the goings on about Erebor. The dwarves had moved on, returning to their normal lives and completely forgetting about the little hobbit who had snuck into the mountain to trick a dragon. Bilbo had felt his heart completely shatter and it was then that he started writing, putting everything down in a book. Weeks ago, he had finished it, sending it to Erebor before he could regret it and stop himself.

“By the time they get it, I might as well be dead,” Bilbo sighed, looking so broken, so defeated. “It won’t be long now. I’ve been rejected by not only my love but by those I considered family. It’s only you two and your families that have kept me this long. I fear it is not enough now.”

Unknown to Bilbo, Hamfast and Lobelia had taken matters into their own hands. They refused to see their dear friend pass from the world so lost. Together they had written a letter and sent it with the fastest messenger they could find in Bree to the stupid King Under his bloody Mountain himself. Words of anger and sadness filled the pages they had sent, practically begging to come and forgive dear Bilbo so he could pass in peace. None would know the effect of the book and letter had on all 13 dwarves in a kingdom so far away.

None expected for Bilbo to walk up to his home from the market on a bright day to find 13 said dwarves standing outside his front gate, watching him limp his way up the path sadly. In that moment, the world stood still and held its breath.


	2. Letters and Loss

 

“Master Baggins,” Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain, looking like he hadn’t aged a day, stepped forward and bowed. Bilbo was frozen in the middle of the path, the grip on his cane so tight his knuckles were turning white. Thankfully he’d paid for most of his groceries to be delivered, so all he had in his basket was a couple loaves of bread, some jars of jam and some packets of tea. He’d gone deathly pale, face almost as white as his hair. He couldn’t find his voice, looking over the dwarves before him. They were here to kill him, weren’t they? Or maybe he was hallucinating. Maybe he had finally snapped.

“Oh sweet Aule,” Bilbo gasped, blinking furiously before swiping at his eyes. “You can’t be here. You just cannot be here.”

“Master Baggins, we have come to apologize,” Thorin decided to power on, slowly moving closer seeing as the old hobbit before him looked about ready to faint. “We should have come sooner. I should have come sooner. I know you will probably never forgive us, but I wish you to know that your name is sung throughout our halls with words of triumph and joy. Master Baggins?”

“You….you are not here. Just…just be gone! Leave me in peace! What have I done to deserve this!” Bilbo was blinking back tears now. The dwarves were so surprised that Bilbo was able to quickly shuffle past and into his home, slamming the door. He pressed his back there, breathing hard as tears flowed freely down his face. This could not be happening. They couldn’t be here. After all these years…..they were here. All of them, his boys, looking so young while he had aged, crippled now with grief and weary bones. Oh, if only…….Bilbo couldn’t hold back the sobs then as he sunk to the floor, the pain tearing at his heart as he dragged himself to the wall left of the door, one hand pressed to his heart as he curled up into a fetal position.

Outside, the dwarves could hear the heartbroken keening all too well. Thorin stood in the gate to the yard, watching the door, face as blank as stone. Behind him, Dwalin was holding a crying Ori with Balin and Dori, both visibly shaken, leaning on each other for support. Bifur was patting Bofur’s arm as the dwarf glared at the green door through his own tears. Bombur had pulled Nori and Oin into a tight hug, his face red as Nori, Oin and Gloin tried to calm the large dwarf. Kili and Fili stood away from the others, watching their uncle with sad eyes. It had shaken them all when the little hobbit lad had arrived only weeks ago, shortly followed by one of the longest letters they had ever seen. Both would have been ignored if it were not for the name on the letter attached to the front of the book.

**Bilbo Baggins**

**Former Burglar**

**Bag End, Bagshot Row, Hobbitton, Shire**

**To my dear, dear friends.**

It was a short letter compared to the second from some unknown hobbits and very formal, written by a shaky, aged hand. The tears stains here and there had spoken volumes of the mindset of the writer.

**_Dear Friends,_ **

**_Its been some time since we last spoke. Nearly 50 years. My, how the time has flown. I’ve missed you all so dearly. All of you. Kili and Fili and Ori in all their youth. Gloin with his tales of little Gimli, who I hope is making all of you proud. Oin and Balin in all their years and wisdom. Nori and Dori, how you two cared for each other. Dear Bombur, I wish you could have baked with me. Bifur and Bofur, my fine warriors. Mighty Dwalin and your pining after Ori, I hope you finally did something about it. And Thorin. Dear, sweet Thorin. My king, my love. Oh, how I miss you._ **

**_Oh, look at me, blubbering and not even that far in. Tis the age, I fear. Makes one very emotional. When one is at the end of their life, they look back and find all the regrets, all the missteps and wish to fix what they can. I can no longer think of traveling to Erebor to beg at your feet for forgiveness, doing much of anything is now a chore for me. So, I have written all of you this book, detailing not only our journey together, but my journeys after._ **

**_I have led a full life, my dwarves, or as full as a bachelor can. I have never married nor have I ever sought out another’s company since my Thorin. Oh, my dear Thorin, I am so sorry for the pain I caused you all those years ago. I do not regret it, but I do regret the words we shared after. My love for you has never wavered. It has never been said a Baggins has been unfaithful._ **

**_I am hoping this finds you all healthy and happy. I don’t have much time left here in Bag End. I have fallen ill from a disease that has plagued by family for generations and it only seems appropriate it should take me. By the time you receive this I will more than likely be gone and traveling in another world. The Green Lady has always been kind to her children, so I will be happy where ever I am._ **

**_I only ask one thing, dear friends. Please, please stay true to each other, to the company. Don’t ever forget, but please remember to forgive._ **

**_Forever you grocer,_ **

**_Bilbo Baggins_ **

Thorin had let Balin read it to all of them as he slowly opened the book, tracing a careful hand over the sketches drawn in among the words telling of a great and foolish journey. He had gained so much, but lost something very dear. It was feeling like he was losing it all over again.  Balin could barely finished the first letter and let Dori read the second. This one had a harsher tone, for the majority. Thorin does not remember all of it except for one simple statement at the end.

**_Bilbo is a dear and true friend to me, do not let him pass alone and empty. Do not let him go unforgiven. Please, oh mighty king and company, don’t make him suffer any more. Please._ **

It had only taken moments for it to be decided the company would travel once again to the Shire. Days later found them headed away from the Lonely Mountain, not chased away by a mighty fire drake, but racing to catch their poor little burglar before there was nothing left to save. 


	3. A Letter From Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A letter from Lobelia and Hamfast as per request.

_From Lobelia Sackville-Baggins and Hamfast Gamgee, Bilbo’s gardener,_

_**~~Dear Stupid Dwarf King and his pathetic Company,~~**_

_Sorry._

_Your Majesty and esteemed Company,_

_**I liked my start better, but who cares. YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS!** Lobelia, please, don’t be like that. They are Bilbo’s friends. **I don’t care! They’ve hurt my dear Bilbo! I’m going to yell at them all I want! What makes them so much better than us? They have a giant mountain filled with gold. Good for them, now just let me go let Marcus out of his cave and we’ll see how they like a dragon of the Shire!** Lobelia, Marcus is a dog, not a dragon. Don’t scare the poor dwarves. Bilbo wouldn’t like it. **Bilbo won’t like dying either but do those dwarves care? NO! Now, Hamfast, let me write. You’ll have a turn soon enough.**_

**_Dwarves, I am Lobelia, cousin of Bilbo Baggins. I am sure he has told you that we were not on the best terms when he left with you on his foolish journey. Even though we didn’t get along, I would never abandon him. LIKE YOU DID._ ** _Breathe, my dear. You’ll break the quill. **Yes, of course. Bilbo returned to the Shire a broken-hearted hobbit and it does not take a clever being to see who did it. He has graciously explained to both dear Hamfast and myself.** That’s me. Hamfast Gamgee, Bilbo’s loyal gardener. **And part time bodyguard. Any way, he explained what all transpired on his journey, but it seems he has failed to explain something about hobbits that is vitally important to our survival. I aught to….**_

_I’ve sent Lobelia to go make herself some tea. She’s upset herself something terrible. What she was trying to say is that hobbits share some blood ties to elves, which I understand you are well acquainted with. Seeing as the one young lad had a thing for the one blonde elf. Leggy or something like that. Anywho, because of these blood ties, we hobbits have the ability to fade. Yes, fade. You would call it dying from a broken heart. Mr. Bilbo gave his heart to one of you and you outright rejected it. Somehow the poor fellow survived this long when his mother, dear Belladonna, didn’t make it even five years after old Bungo passed on. Bilbo’s strong like that. **But his strength is fading. Just like him. And he will pass from this world feeling like he is worthless. That he betrayed those he called family. He will die with thoughts that he could never save anyone.**_

**** _That he couldn’t save his father during the Fell winter. That he couldn’t save his mother from dying because he couldn’t love her enough. **He will die thinking he is a traitor.** Betraying his family here in the Shire by dashing off on a thrice-cursed adventure. **Betraying his parents for freezing in the midst of an attack when there was nothing he could do.** Betraying his new family by giving away some stupid stone to get them allies in a battle they could not win alone. **Betraying his one and only love because he could not keep him happy.**_

**_He will die alone, or thinking he is alone._ ** _Which he is not! He has me and he has Lobelia and our families and all of the Shire. But for some reason that is not enough. For some reason you blasted dwarves are so terribly important to Mr. Bilbo that he’s dying! That he’s fading away into nothingness. That he is empty, that he is broken, that he ran all the way across Arda to destroy a pathetic gold band that would have ruined us all. He is my friend and he is broken and you have made it impossible for me to fix him! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM? HOW COULD YOU HURT SUCH AN INNOCENT SOUL LIKE THAT? WHAT EVER DID HE DO TO YOU TO DESERVE THIS FATE? WHY DOES HE DESERVE TO DIE AND NOT YOU?_

**_Now look what you did. I’ve never seen Hamfast so distressed. He’s out smoking his pipe now. Well, that’s what he said he was doing, but I know he’s out there crying. I’ll finish this up so I can go make him some tea. I am asking you, from the bottom of my heart, to find it in yours to forgive Bilbo. Bilbo is a dear and true friend to me, do not let him pass alone and empty. Do not let him go unforgiven. Please, oh mighty king and company, don’t make him suffer any more. Please. He doesn’t have long. Every day he suffers more. Please, just forgive him._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Lobelia Sackville-Baggins_ **

**** _Hamfast Gamgee_


	4. Forgiveness From the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin could never forgive himself for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was crying the entire time I was writing this. So I am sorry. I am so, so sorry.

Thorin now stared at the round, green door before him, mind racing. Bilbo…..Bilbo had looked so old. He understood that hobbits aged fast than dwarves and somewhere in his mind he had understood that his hobbit was dying, but he hadn’t thought that part of the cause was age. Now….gods, now Bilbo looked like one light breeze would break him. His once smooth skin that Thorin had taken great pleasure in was now wrinkled and brittle. He was so thin Thorin could see his bones. His golden hair was now as white as snow with streaks of grey here and there. But what had hurt the most was those eyes. They had once been so bright, so full of life. They told Thorin everything he’d ever needed to know about Bilbo. They were so open, so easy to read. Thorin could tell when Bilbo was sad, when he was going to kill Thorin, when Bilbo was the happiest being in Arda. Now…..now they were empty, bottomless pits, no emotion, no hope left in them. And it was his fault.

Thorin wasn’t going to deny it, had no right to. He and he alone had banished Bilbo. He and Bilbo had started something on their adventure and he had thrown it back in Bilbo’s face like it was nothing. It had been everything, had been the whole world to Thorin. He hadn’t wanted his kingdom, hadn’t want the crown, had wanted nothing more than Bilbo. But he had lost the right to it long ago, to a life with Bilbo and here he was being reminded of that all over again. He had picked a stupid stone over Bilbo, over that sweet, innocent hobbit who had risked everything for him. He’d picked a mountain over a creature who only wanted to make Thorin happy. He had thrown Bilbo from his sight and forbidden him from ever seeing Erebor again. He had been a monster and it had taken Dwalin, Dis and Fili punching him to make him see sense. By then, in Thorin’s mind, it had been too late. Bilbo deserved better. He deserved someone who would love him as he deserved. He needed someone who would be there no matter what. He needed someone who would pick him first no matter what. Thorin had not been expecting Bilbo to still love him after all this time. To be dying because of this love. Oh, if only he had known!

Thorin took a deep breath and stepped in through the front gate. Walking up those steps to that round, green door felt like and eternity. The metal of the handle felt as cold as ice under his sweaty palm. There was no turning back now, though. Thorin knew he wouldn’t forgive himself and his company behind him would more than likely stone him before he could get too far. He turned the handle and found the door unlocked. The crying had stopped. Well, the keening had. Thorin could hear, just barely, sobs from the other side of the door. He pushed the door open, peering into the gloom. Years and years ago, he remembered this same door opening. The entrance had been cheerful, bright, full of energy. Not, it reflected the being living within. It was dead, lifeless.

He stepped in, pushing the door closed behind him as his eyes found the little hobbit not far away, curled in on himself, shaking and sobbing his heart out. Oh, those horrible noises. It was all Thorin’s fault and he would never forgive himself.

“Oh, my dear hobbit,” Thorin breathed, falling to his knees by Bilbo, gently reaching out and resting a hand on Bilbo’s thin, small shoulder. Bilbo flinched under his touch and desperate eyes turned to meet his.

“What…how…why are you here?” Bilbo’s voice was raspy now with age. It was a hollow reminder of younger years, when it could laugh without a whim or crack as harshly as a whip.

“I am here because I am a fool, Bilbo. A heartless, bitter fool. I promised I would never hurt you and look at what I’ve done,” Thorin murmured, forcing his tears to stay where they were. “Can you ever forgive me?”

“For….forgive you?” Bilbo blinked before forcing himself to sit up, back against the wall. More surprisingly, he pulled Thorin’s hand into his lap, his two small hands clinging to it as any desperate man would cling to hope, “There is nothing to forgive.”

“But there is, Bilbo. So much to forgive. I cast you from my side, destroyed your heart and forced you to live like this for so long. I have made you suffer as one never should. You are dying,” at that, Thorin’s voice finally cracked and swallowed hard, blinking furiously. “And it is my fault. Oh, Bilbo. Oh, my dear Bilbo. What have I done?”

“Thorin,” Bilbo whispered, tears streaming down his face, his grip tightening on Thorin’s hand. “Oh, Thorin, no. No, this is not your fault. It is all mine. If I hadn’t.”

“No, no Bilbo. No. Don’t start. Don’t you dare start. You are more than important to me than any bloody stone,” Thorin pulled Bilbo to him then, feeling how truly small his hobbit was now, how frail, how brittle he was as Thorin held him close. Wrapped his arms around him, trying to protect him, to save him, “I fell to the gold sickness over a stone. Over something that could be used to feed my people. Over nothing. I choose nothing over you. You who has always loved me, no matter what I did to you. You, the most faithful, the most loyal creature I know. And I am killing you.”

“You are not,” Bilbo clung to Thorin’s coat, pressing his face into Thorin’s shoulder. “You are not killing me.”

“You are fading, Bilbo. I know what that means. I know what will happen,” Thorin buried his face in Bilbo’s curls. “We should have been together this whole time. I shouldn’t have let you go.”

“Don’t let me go now, please,” Bilbo whispered. “I don’t want to be alone when…when…”

“I am not leaving you, none of us are. We will not abandon you ever again,” Thorin promised. But it was more than that, because it came from his entire heart, from his entire soul, from his entire being. For as long as it took, Thorin would be there. No matter how much it hurt in the end, Thorin wasn’t going to leave Bilbo. Ever.


	5. Foolish, Stubborn Dwarves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bit shorter chapter, more of a fill. Will be a few days before I can update again.

Thorin has no idea how long they stay like that. Bilbo clinging to Thorin, Thorin wrapped protectively around his hobbit. For all he knows it could have been hours, days, months, even years. In reality, it was but a few minutes. The silence, that comfortable, welcoming silence was broken by a tentative knocking at the door. It was pushed open a little as Thorin looked up, only just realizing that Bilbo had fallen asleep against him. Dwalin poked his head in, taking in the scene before him. He nodded at Thorin, “Its about to rain so the boys and I were wondering if we could come in.”

“I’m sure Bilbo won’t mind,” Thorin said softly. “I’m going to put him in his bed. Make sure everyone takes their boots off and is quiet. He needs rest.”

“Make sure you stay with him,” Dwalin replied just as softly. “It would be cruel for him to wake up and think it was all just a dream.”

“I….I will,” Thorin nodded before standing, cradling Bilbo in his arms. He looked so small, “Was he always this tiny?”

“No, he wasn’t,” Dwalin sighed. “Keep him safe.”

Thorin nodded before heading down the hall. Even though it had been a while, Thorin still remember where Bilbo’s bedroom was . There was a nice sized bed, big enough for a hobbit and a dwarf, easily. He pulled off Bilbo’s coat and waistcoat carefully, folding them over the back of chair before making sure Bilbo was comfortable. He then took off his own boots, his belts and coat and armor and crawled in beside Bilbo, wrapping himself around the hobbit. He let his eyes trace over the lines on Bilbo’s face, finding that in sleep it looked like Bilbo was younger. A few less lines, a few less stresses. Maybe it had something with Thorin being there, holding the hobbit close. It was easing something in Thorin’s chest as well. Thorin smiled a small smile and buried his face in Bilbo’s curls, easily falling asleep for the first time in 60 years.

**Elsewhere**

The dwarves had entered slowly, quickly removing their boots and getting settled. Bombur had dragged Dori into the kitchen to work on making food and tea while they waited. Dwalin was cuddling with Ori on the one couch, both talking quietly. Fili, Kili and Balin were going over some work they had brought with. Nori, Oin and Gloin were setting up a dwarf game while Bofur and Bifur were looking over their weapons. They all kept the noise down, the quietest they’d been since learning that Bilbo was dying. They stayed like that for hours, quietly moving around the hobbit hole as needed, occasionally looking down the hallway to the closed door.

It was getting close to suppertime when the door finally opened. Bombur and Dori were making lots of food by now, as a way to cope. They all looked up when they heard the door open. Thorin came out first, for the first time in a long time looking very refreshed. He had one hand on Bilbo’s elbow while the hobbit shuffled out of  the room. He was blinking slowly, obviously still tired. He looked up to see all the dwarves and smiled, letting Thorin steer him down the hall, “I am sorry, my friends, for earlier. I was just….surprised you all came so far just to see an old hobbit.”

“You are not just any old hobbit, Bilbo,” Balin said quietly. “And we wanted to make up for the way we treated you so long ago.”

“That was not your fault. If anything, it was mine. I should have realized,” Bilbo started but stopped with Thorin growled.

“That was not your fault. We let the gold take over our minds. Do not apologize,” Thorin leveled Bilbo with a stern look and the hobbit sighed.

“Of course, dear, of course,” Bilbo looked around. “You all must be terribly hunger. I’ve been such a terrible host, but I don’t get many visitors now a days so I don’t know what all I have.”

“We’ve taken care of it,” Bombur stepped out of the kitchen. Thorin moved aside so the large dwarf could hug Bilbo, “Dori and I have cooked up a feast for you.”

“Oh, Bombur, Dori, you didn’t have to,” Bilbo hugged Bombur back.

“But we did,” Dori spoke up from the door as Bombur let Bilbo go. “We’re here, for you.”

“To take care of me while I die,” Bilbo supplied and noticed how everyone’s face went pale. “You all knew that hobbits have shorter lives.”

“We should have, but we let it slip our minds,” Dwalin, surprisingly moved forward and pulled Bilbo into a hug. “We thought we had longer to seek your forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness?” Bilbo squeaked, awkwardly returning Dwalin’s hug.

“Yes, forgiveness,” Balin nodded. “We treated you cruelly and us being the stubborn dwarves we are didn’t know how to go about asking for forgiveness.”

“Well, that’s….this is too much,” Bilbo gasped as Dwalin let him go. Thorin was by his side, an arm wrapped around the hobbit, “You didn’t need to travel all this way and cook and.”

“But we are. And we aren’t leaving anytime soon,” Fili finally spoke up. “We’ll be here, however long we need to be.”

Bilbo smiled, “I would like that. Greatly. It’s awful lonely in this big smial all by myself. But you all are going to work. I won’t have you all being lazy.”

“Whatever you wish,” Thorin smiled. “We are at your service.”


	6. Angry Hobbits and Handkerchiefs

They were given till the next morning to have peace. Just as Bilbo said, they were all put to work. One crippled hobbit could very well not keep Bag End up to par, so he immediately set the dwarves to fixing the place up. Cleaning, repairing, sweeping, the washing. It was all done while Bilbo watched, a smile just barely on his face. Thorin watched from where Bilbo had set him up at a desk to work on stuff he had brought from Erebor. It was better to know Bilbo was about to smile than about to cry, Thorin decided. It seemed to bring some life back into the hobbit.

Right now Bilbo was watching over Dwalin, Bifur and Bofur repairing parts of the ceiling. It should’ve been done years ago, but Bilbo hadn’t thought about it at the time. Bilbo nodded to himself before turning away, catching Thorin watching him. The old hobbit smiled and limped over, “I see we are staying busy.”

  
“Oh, I think the others are busy enough for me,” Thorin chuckled. “I’ve never seen them work so hard.”

“They do seem highly motivated,” Bilbo sighed. “You all will be alright when I’m gone? Won’t you?”

“No, Bilbo, we won’t be. There is no use denying it. But we will be fine some day,” Thorin reached out and took Bilbo’s hand. “For now we are here for you, we worry about you and life will never be the same without you.”

“Thorin….don’t say that,” Bilbo looked down, his smile disappearing.

“But it is true and you need to hear it. We shouldn’t act any differently around you just because you are dying,” Thorin pulled Bilbo into his arms. “You would get very crabby, I think.”

“Yes, I would,” Bilbo sighed. “Still….its different now. I had accepted I was going to die and then….and now I don’t want to leave just yet.”

“We have a little time now. We’ll make the most of it,” Thorin pressed a kiss into Bilbo’s hair just as the front door banged open.

“WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO **_MY_** COUSIN!!!!” A high, female voice roared. Thorin could’ve sworn the entire smial shook at the force of her shout. Bilbo flinched in his arms but didn’t make to move away and rescue whoever was incurring the wrath of an angry she-hobbit.

“Should I be concerned?” Thorin glanced down at Bilbo.

“No its just,” Bilbo started but was cut off by a pain-filled cry from what sounded like a dwarf.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MR. BAGGINS, YOU GARDEN-RUINING FIENDS!!!!!!!” a very male hobbit roared and this time Bilbo did pull away.

“Hamfast, if you just broke the good shovel over a dwarf’s head, I am not buying you a new one!” Bilbo quickly limped out of the study, Thorin right on his heels. Standing in the doorway were two hobbits. The male, Hamfast, was not wielding a shovel but a pitchfork. A very well made pitchfork if it not only could knock Dwalin to the ground but still be in one piece. The she-hobbit was keeping the others back with a bright pink umbrella as Hamfast had the pitchfork at Dwalin’s chest.

“No, Mr. Baggins. I’d never ruin a good shovel on the likes of dwarves,” Hamfast didn’t look up but the she-hobbit shifted her umbrella to point at Thorin.

“Who are these dwarves, Bilbo-dear, and why are they here?” she practically growled.

 “They are my friends, Lobelia, and I would absolutely adore you if you stopped threatening them with your umbrella,” Bilbo sighed, leaning forward on his cane.

“Lobelia? Lobelia Sackville-Baggins and Hamfast Gamgee?” Balin took a small step forward.

“We may be. Why? Who’s asking?” Hamfast growled.

“We are here, actually, because of the letter you two sent us,” Balin took another small step towards his brother.

“Oh…OH! You….Hamfast! They!!!!! Oooooohhhhh!!!!!” Lobelia’s face was turning a very bright red.

“Breath, Lobelia, and let it all out,” Hamfast growled, his glare turning glacier.

Lobelia did just that, “Thank you, Hamfast. You horrible, dirty dwarves with your crude, barbaric ways cannot just waltz into a civilized hobbit’s smial and expect to get away with it! I WILL NOT ALLOW IT! You will be properly punished for the pain you have caused my cousin and, the Green Lady willing, I will be apart of it!”

“But you sent us the letter!” Kili cut in.

“Yes, I may have, but that does not stop me from treating the lot of you like the naughty fauntlings you are!!!!” Lobelia smacked Kili over the head with her umbrella.

“Lobelia, really now,” Bilbo started and faster than anyone could blink, Lobelia was by his side, pulling him into a protective hug.

“Don’t worry, Bilbo-dear, I will make sure that they suffer for what they have done,” Lobelia patted his head.

“You want them to prune your hedges, don’t you?” Bilbo sighed.

“Well, I’m sure not letting them near my flowers. Look at those hands!” Lobelia huffed, letting go of Bilbo, looking over the dwarves. She jabbed her umbrella at Fili, Dori and Gloin,” You, you and you, with me. Now. We have hedges to rescue.”

With that she marched out of the smial. Fili, Dori and Gloin looked at Thorin who shrugged,” I would just go.”

The three sighed before doing as they were told. Hamfast straightened up, taking the pitch fork away from Dwalin, eyeing the large dwarf, “Good with an ax?”

“Born with one in each hand,” Dwalin growled.

“Good. I’ll take you then and the two younger fellas and we’ll see out getting a new fence up,” Hamfast nodded before stalking out, Dwalin, Ori and Kili following warily. Bilbo sighed before plopping down on the bench near the door.

“Well…that went better than expected,” Bilbo looked around at the others.

“They’ll be slave drivers to us, won’t they?” Balin sighed.

“More than likely. They have my honor to defend and what not,” Bilbo chuckled.

“Well, lads, you know what that means,” Bofur looked around at the others, who nodded and headed out the door.

“Make sure Bifur is with Hamfast. He seems nicer!” Bombur called from the kitchen.

“What are they doing?” Bilbo frowned, looking at Thorin who was heading back into the study.

“Getting a head start on the work. Might as well try to play nice here,” Thorin shrugged before disappearing into the study. Bilbo laughed, but the laugh turned into a cough and he quickly pressed his handkerchief to his mouth, silencing the sound so neither of the dwarves left would hear. He pulled the handkerchief away as he stood, looking down at the red flecked fabric. He moved into the sitting room, glancing into the study on his way. Thorin was focused on his work and Bilbo had no doubt Bombur was cooking up a storm. He sighed before throwing the handkerchief into the fire. It was only a matter of time now…..


	7. It All Breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, my dear readers. The end is near. Its in the air, they can all feel it. Can you?

Bilbo hid it well, or as well as a hobbit stuck in a smial with thirteen dwarves could. It started off simple in the beginning, had started long before the dwarves had arrived. He had felt the fading, had felt himself slipping. Like he was walking along a cliff edge and every so often his foot would slip. The farther he went the worse it got. There was not much more to it, at least for a time. Then, closer to the time of the dwarves arrival, he physically started to fade. It was getting harder to get up, his leg was hurting more. Food was harder to eat. He was eating less, his favorite foods now his worse enemy. It just wouldn’t sit right with him. He started to lose weight because of it. His hair started to thin out. He felt weak, fragile. Sometimes it hurt to breath. Then, the day before his dwarves (they were and are and always would be HIS) arrived, he started coughing. It started off as a tickle in his throat, but by the end of the day, his ribs hurt and he was exhausted. The next day he started to cough up blood. Just a little, mind you, but any sensible hobbit would call a doctor. Bilbo knew better, though. Why waste the good lad’s time when Bilbo knew the outcome? He was dying, it was as simple as that. He had wanted to be alone when it happened, but now…..now he was afraid of being alone. He was afraid of dying. He thought he was ready, but now he wasn’t.

He knew he should tell the dwarves, should tell Lobelia and Hamfast, should tell Thorin, but then he would see how happy they all were. See them smiling over Hamfast’s brew. See Dori and Lobelia arguing over growing techniques. He couldn’t do that to any of them. He was already causing them enough pain. No more. He would leave, he would die in peace somewhere. Maybe where his mother had whispered her last words to him. Maybe beneath the Mulberry tree a few hills yonder where his father had proposed to his mother…. Oh, Eru! What would his life had been like if Thorin had proposed to him instead of sending him away, far from his family?

Bilbo stopped his packing and covered his mouth with his hand as tears slipped down his face. There he goes again, crying like a baby. Everything could have been different. He would be living in Erebor with Thorin, dying there. And what of the ring? It would have taken Thorin, taken all the dwarves. He knew it. That didn’t make any of this better, though.

The rumble of thunder surprised Bilbo and he looked out the window to see it had started raining. Lightning flickered and there was another rumble. The dwarves would be back soon. Bilbo let his head fall onto the pile of clothes before him in the chest he was kneeling in front of. He was hoping to be gone by now. It was too late, wasn’t it? Everything was too late. Thorin was too late, forgiveness was too late, everything. He could’ve had it all, could’ve had his dream life. But not now.

Bilbo didn’t care that the clothes were getting wet as he cried. There was too much in him right now to top the tears. He would have to tell them. Tell that he was…..that he was going….his thoughts were interrupted by a violent cough that ripped at his chest, sending sparks of pain through his lungs. Only this time, he couldn’t make it stop.

He heard the door open, but it was coming from far away. He heard voices calling, he heard the stomping of feet, but they were being drowned out by the wet, soul tearing coughs echoing through his chest. He tried to push himself up, to get away, to do something, but his body failed him then. All the energy was sucked out of him, replaced with pain and loss. Thorin…..How could he do this to Thorin? Panicked voices reached him, but he couldn’t understand. Strong hands grabbed him, lifted him up. As his vision went black, he saw Thorin’s face, Thorin’s worried face. Bilbo tried to reach up, tried, but the world went black.

*Fading From This World*

“…..fine, Thorin,” the old, tired voice broke through the darkness. That suffocating darkness that wouldn’t let go.

“No, he’s not. He’s dying. He could be dead. What if we hadn’t come when we did?” Thorin was here, or there. Please, please don’t let him be dead just yet. He needed to apologize.

“But he’s not and you got here in time. But that won’t be enough for long. He is old, Thorin, he is tired. Can you let him go?” that old voice again. It was so familiar….like an old memory….

“Gandalf,” Bilbo gasped out, wincing as his lungs complained. A warm hand pressed against his forehead as another gripped his hand tightly. Thorin’s hands, the same as they were when the dwarf had first cupped his face and kissed Bilbo so thoroughly that the poor hobbit thought the world had ended.

“I am here, old friend,” an older, more wrinkled hand gripped his other hand, squeezing gently. “I told you I would be.”

“Sorry…” Bilbo forced his eyes open. Thorin was hovering over him, sitting beside him on his bed. Gandalf sat in a chair, leaning onto the bed. Both looked worried, “Sorry…..for….every…”

“Shush, Bilbo, shush,” Thorin whispered. “Do not apologize. I have already told you that you have nothing to be sorry for. Please, little one, relax.”

“Rest, Bilbo, everything is ok. You just over strained yourself today,” Gandalf said softly. “We will be here when you wake.”

“Will….I?” Bilbo forced out, eyes fighting to close.

“Yes, Bilbo, you will,” Gandalf smiled a little at that. “It is not quite time yet.”

“You…you will…stay?” Bilbo turned his attention to Thorin.

“I don’t plan on leaving you, not yet,” Thorin shifted so he was lying next to Bilbo, still holding his hand but now his other arm was gently resting on his stomach. The dwarf looked like he had aged ten years at least.

“And I….don’t plan…..either,” Bilbo whispered before letting his eyes slip close, falling back into the darkness. He could’ve sworn though, just before he was lost to oblivion, that he felt something wet fall on his cheek. 


	8. This is the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes to an end......Or does it?

Bilbo faded in and out of darkness for the next couple days. His body was constantly wracked with coughs and shivers. A hand full of hobbits stopped by over that time. The dwarves spent a lot of time with Lobelia and Hamfast, who had taken it upon themselves to take care of Bilbo’s guests. Balin had also guessed it was so that they could be near Bilbo. Some of Bilbo’s relatives stopped by as well. A young hobbit named Drogo Baggins and his wife, Primila, were there the most often. Young Frodo, coming into his tweens, came with, but more often then not he was sent to play with Hamfast’s son, Samwise. Drogo said his son didn’t need to remember his “Uncle” like this. He needed to remember the adventurer that told fantastic stories about far off kingdoms. Thorin understood all too well.

Bilbo became lucid five days after his collapse, which was five days of torture for the others. Thorin was in the room, moping up Bilbo’s fevered brow while Gandalf kept a seat by the window. The hobbit doctor had said there was not much he could do and the wizard had practically thrown him out before himself and Oin had taken over the care of the hobbit. Yes, there was not much they could do, but there was still plenty that could be tried. Bilbo had stirred weakly under Thorin’s hand before one small, pale hand had come up and gripped Thorin’s arm. Thorin had stilled his movements, waiting.

“T-thorin?” Bilbo had rasped out, his eyes opening weakly.

“Yes, I’m here. We all are,” Thorin shifted his arm so he could hold Bilbo’s hand.

“I’m…..I’m c-cold, Thorin,” Bilbo forced out, gripping Thorin’s hand weakly.

“It’s the fever, Bilbo, just the fever,” Thorin whispered, pressing the back of his free hand to Bilbo’s forehead. He was burning up. Thorin could make himself believe that it was just the fever if he forced himself to.

“No……no, Thorin…..its…Thorin,” Bilbo blinked, leaning into Thorin’s touch.

“Peace, Bilbo, we are here with you,” Gandalf spoke softly from his chair, leaning forward. Thorin almost wanted to ask why the wizard wasn’t getting Oin, but the sad look in Gandalf’s eyes spoke volumes.

“I…I don’t want….to go,” Bilbo forced his head around so he could look at Gandalf. “There’s….there’s so much…..left….”

“And yet, this isn’t in the end of your tale, is it?” Gandalf forced a smile. “This is only the beginning.”

“I….I am….afraid,” Bilbo whispered, tears glistening in his eyes.

“We are here, Bilbo. I am here. Whatever you want or need, just ask it,” Thorin had to force out, blinking back his own.

“Hold me, Thorin……just hold me,” Bilbo whispered. Thorin quickly toed off his boots and crawled into the bed, slipping under the covers and carefully pulling Bilbo close. Bilbo pressed his face weakly under Thorin’s chin, “I will see you all again, won’t I?”

“Before you want to, Bilbo,” Gandalf said softly, looking so very old. Thorin met his eyes and both knew. They knew and it hurt. Thorin held Bilbo tighter, burying his face in Bilbo’s curls, blinking back tears.

“You’ll make sure they get back to Erebor safely, won’t you?” Bilbo gripped one of Thorin’s hands.

“Of course. I will stay as long as they need me,” Gandalf nodded. “Longer, even.”

“You promise me, Thorin,” Bilbo gave a small sob. “Promise me you’ll be a great king.”

“The greatest,” Thorin forced out.

“You make sure those boys eat their vegetables and don’t push themselves too….too hard,” Bilbo’s small voice was barely coming out, but it echoed too loudly for Thorin.

“I will. I promise,” Thorin let the tears fall then, unable to hold them in.

“Promise me one last thing?” Bilbo was having trouble breathing now.

“Anything.”

“Don’t forget me. Move on…..start a family…do whatever you can with your life, but….but don’t forget me,” Bilbo was crying now. Oh gods, Bilbo was crying, not because he was dying but because he was afraid Thorin would forget him. Thorin would never forget him. Bilbo wasn’t just anyone, he was the other half of the dwarf, he was Thorin’s very heart. 

“I will never forget you, Bilbo Baggins. I don’t think anything could ever stop me from thinking of you,” Thorin pressed a kiss into Bilbo’s curls.

“I….I love……you,” Bilbo whispered and Thorin felt something inside of him break. It was as though something had been ripped from his chest. And it had, hadn’t it? His heart had been forcibly removed.

“I love you, Bilbo. I have always loved you and I always will,” Thorin’s voice cracked, but he didn’t care. Who knew how much longer he had?

“Thorin,” Gandalf said softly and Thorin looked up. Gandalf was crying, tears streaming down his face now. Why would……oh. Thorin gently sat up, looking down at Bilbo. His skin was starting to turn cold now, his eyes closed. He looked peaceful, like he was just sleeping. Thorin thought about maybe trying to make himself think that, but that small chest lying so still was too noticeable.

“He didn’t hear me, did he?” Thorin brushed some hair from Bilbo’s face.

“I’m sorry, Thorin. I am so sorry,” Gandalf said softly. Thorin’s face crumbled, unable to hold back the howl of pain. Thorin had finally been able to say those three simple words, but Bilbo would never know…..would never know how much he meant to the dwarf. Outside, the rain fell. It didn’t just fall in the Shire, though, it fell all across Arda. In Rivendell, in Gondor, in Rohan, in the far North, in Dale. Onto the sides of the Lonely Mountain, dripping down and feeding into the ground. Soaking into the ground and snaking through the stone till one single drop slipped through a crack and onto the Arkenstone in its resting spot over the throne of the King of the Mountain. It slipped down over the many faces of the stone, as though the very heart of the mountain herself was crying for the loss that her king had suffered. And then......it began to glow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you like a happy ending?


	9. To Be Continued.....

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, its been decided. With a whole lot of discussion really because I am dying over here with all of my feels and then you all got me crying with your comments. But there will be a sequel and its not going to be quite what I think you all are expecting. But you will get your happy ending!!! Eventually....


	10. Sequel

http://archiveofourown.org/works/839701  
Bleeding Out, the sequel. Enjoy!


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